A Beginning
by ksevfand
Summary: Hermione's relationship with Professor Snape is changing...a short series of drabbles.
1. A Smile

Disclaimer: In case you did not know, these characters are not mine! And neither is Alan Rickman.

A/N-This a series of 4 drabbles: A Smile, A Touch, A Breath, and A Kiss.

A little background on how this ficlet came about. I was watching Dark Harbor, an Alan Rickman movie. This is not a comedy at all. During the movie, there were several times, though, when he smiled and it was just amazing. I wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that smile. It was several days later and I still could not get his smile out of my mind so I decided to write about it. For a glimpse of that smile, another movie that is good is Truly, Madly, Deeply. It is a comedy. So on with the story…

This was written as a tribute to Alan Rickman's amazing smile. I wondered what would happen if Severus Snape smiled that smile…how would Hermione react?

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A Smile

The young women stared at the older man beside her. What had just happened? The shocked look in her eyes was mixed with a tempest of other emotions. She tried to remember what had proceeded this moment but the memories were like shards of glass, scattered and minute. The vagueness of it pulled at her. She needed to remember but she could not. She could not think of anything but what had just happened.

He had smiled. It seemed simple but it was not. She did not know what to think or what to do. He still worked on as if nothing had happened but they both knew it had. It wasn't as if she had never seen him smile before. She shook her head. She had seen the curl of his lip, the infamous smirk, the raising of one eyebrow in sardonic humor. This was different.

This smile had caused the world to stop spinning on its axis and then to continue turning in the opposite direction. She now questioned everything she knew to be true. Her reality was shattered. It was the promise in the smile that caused the catch in her throat. It was hard to breathe but she concentrated on the effort of pulling air in and out of her lungs. In that moment she had seen what could be. And he let her. She knew that was what stunned her the most. In that moment, he had opened himself to her, exposing his vulnerability.

She thought of the smile. His lips had turned up briefly. Although it was fleeting, it was mesmerizing. Almost immediately, his lips returned to their comfortable sneer. It was his eyes, however, that held her attention. The smile continued in their depths and the sides crinkled in amusement.

The memory of those eyes was permanently imprinted on her mind. They had sparkled as he looked at her. The tiny lines feathered out from the corner of his eyes toward his temples. She longed to trace their journey with her fingers. She imagined kissing him there as if she could somehow taste and savor the joy she had briefly seen.

She again tried to remember what she had said to him that caused him to smile. She wanted to be able to recreate that moment. As she looked at his now serious profile, she knew it did not matter. He had chosen to share this with her. She knew there would be a next time. The thought enveloped her with a mixture of warmth and excitement.

It would be enough to sustain her…for now.


	2. A Touch

Disclaimer: Only my thoughts belong to me. The characters belong to someone else.

A Touch

The only sound in the room came from the simmering cauldron in front of her. The quiet was comfortable she reflected, as if it belonged there between them. She looked over at the man beside her. His presence seemed to fill the room seeking her out like the flames of a blazing fire; the tendrils of warmth flickered at her, dispelling the cold along with her doubts and insecurities. She felt safe, content, and happy.

They stood next to each other working silently on the potion. It had not been that long ago that she had been his student. Then he had thought of her as a know-it-all. Now he treated her with respect. It was enough. Later perhaps, she could earn his trust.

A ringing sound broke into her thoughts as the timer went off.

The potion!

She quickly looked over at her mentor. He raised an eyebrow at her lack of attention as he deposited the next potion ingredient; one that she was in charge of. In the past she may have expected a silly-little-girl comment but now an eyebrow raise was enough.

She became flustered. She hated making mistakes. It had taken a long time to earn his respect and she didn't want it to falter because of one distracted moment.

She hurried to reach for the spoon. The potion had to be stirred. He anticipated her intentions and moved closer to her. Without a word he reached out and lightly touched her arm, stopping her progress.

"Wait," he said quietly but she hardly heard him.

Time seemed to slow down dramatically. At that moment she realized that in the ten or so years that she had known him, he had never before touched her.

As she felt his fingertips pressing lightly into her skin, an absurd thought passed through her mind; she had expected his skin to feel cool, a reflection of the man within. Instead, his hand was warm. Perhaps it was a façade, after all.

Her mind seemed to become clouded yet focused. She had no coherent thought except for the feel of his fingers on her skin. The moment was just that…and yet it seemed to go on forever. Was her heart beating? Was she breathing? She wasn't sure of anything.

Just as quickly, he released her. It was as if it hadn't happened. However, the imprint of his fingertips still imbedded in her arm, testified to the reality of the moment.

His touch had been casual, light …and yet it carried with it so much.  
Respect, companionship, a familiarity she had not experienced before with him. And a slight hint of trust.

She could feel the shift in their relationship. It was subtle…below the surface and yet it seemed to scream out at her. In that one moment he conveyed all that led up to this point and the promise of times to come. It was amazing, miraculous, more than she could have ever hoped for. And yet there were no bells, no harps, no declarations of any kind to mark this momentous occasion. There was just…

a touch.


	3. A Breath

Disclaimer: The characters in this story, although not named, still belong to JKR.

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A Breath

It was amazing really. The way they seemed to fall into this effortless routine. They could spend hours together with no more than a few words between them. And yet they worked seamlessly. Each doing their part as they concocted potions and tested theories. It was hard to tell where his work ended and hers began. Their interactions were fluid.

She didn't know when he had begun to trust her. Like waves on the shore each moment they spent together ebbed and flowed pulling with it the sands of doubt, and leaving in its place a growing respect. It was hardly noticeable to the casual observer but over time the walls between them were slowly worn down. Although neither acknowledged it, both noticed the change.

Wasn't that what she longed for? His respect…his trust...the knowledge that he depended on her? It was everything she wanted and yet not enough. Where had this sense of needing more come from? She didn't know.

But she did want more. More than the warm serenity that now claimed them, enveloped them so that the comforting sameness felt almost suffocating as it kept them from moving forward.

She thought the situation ironic. The bargains she had made. Just a little more. Promising each time that she would be happy. Satisfied with just a little more. But it was not enough, never enough.

Her thoughts returned to her task as she realized she was out of frog eyes. He raised his eyebrow at her before he gracefully glided across the room to the supply cabinet. His black robes swirled around him. He found the necessary ingredient and turned back. His eyes met hers and she felt drawn into their dark depths. His mouth opened slightly. She thought he was going to speak but instead he moved to stand behind her. He leaned over her to place the ingredient on the table in front of her.

She was suddenly overwhelmed by his presence. The easiness and relaxed mood gone. The air seemed to crackle between them as his body put off an invisible field of heat and excitement. Her body trembled with the possibilities and she found herself unable to think. She knew he was waiting for her to add the next part of the potion but her traitorous mind no longer wanted to function. She couldn't remember what to do or how to do it. Her hand fluttered nervously across each item on the table before her accidentally knocking over the vial he had just set before her. What would he think now!

He leaned in quickly, grabbing the vial just in time to avoid a potentially dangerous accident. The moment seemed unreal and it stretched out so that she didn't recognize it anymore. She was reminded of the time turner she had used in the third year at school. The feel of his breath on her neck brought the moment back into sharp focus.

"Careful," he whispered, his deep voice unsettling her already frayed emotions.

He was so close. When had breathing become so difficult?

Although he didn't touch her, she felt little currents of electricity shoot through her at each breath he took. She found herself leaning toward him.

A thought tried to intrude on the moment but her befuddled mind would not let it in. She knew it was important…something she had noticed. However, she couldn't pinpoint what it was and at this time she really didn't care.

He continued working from behind her, his hand deftly adding the frog eyes to the now boiling potion. The heat from the mixture combined with the warmth from his body causing the young woman to sway slightly.

His heated breath caressed her skin as he leaned closer into her. She closed her eyes to heighten the experience. She wanted only to feel his closeness.

"There. Now we just have to wait." Having said that the man moved away from her. The coolness surrounded her as his body heat was removed. The further away he went the clearer her mind became. At last the thought that had so rudely tried to interrupt was able to make itself known.

_His breathing had also been shallow and ragged. He was in no way immune to her. He had felt it, too._

And briefly she enjoyed the moment of triumph.

But then…she wanted more.

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	4. A Kiss

A/N: Thanks to everyone for your reviews. I really enjoyed writing this series and I hope you all enjoyed it as well.

A Kiss

She watched the dark haired man as he prepared the ingredients for the healing potions they were working on. He glanced over at her causing her to look away in embarrassment. The comfortable ease had been shattered to be replaced by the nervous tension that now permeated their relationship. She missed the way they had been together.

The silence was heavy with unspoken words and suppressed emotions. She could tell that he was affected as well; his breathing was ragged when he was close to her and his hand trembled oh so slightly. She had to wonder if this was because he had feelings for her or if he was just reacting to her nervousness. She wanted to believe that he cared for her, needed her, but her yearning heart could just be looking for things that were not there. It was so tempting to just go back to the way it was before (if this was even possible). She had gained so much…he had trusted her. That in itself was a major accomplishment. But she had wanted more and now she felt as if she had crossed some invisible, irreversible line.

She watched him work once more; her eyes ready to retreat if discovered. He chopped the necessary ingredients with fervor. She knew he was irritable, angry even. He look as if he were about to explode with emotion. None of it tender and sweet.

She quickly looked down as he stood up and moved toward her. He put the items next to her on the table. The cauldron was starting to bubble; they were ready for the next step. She was painfully aware of how close he was to her. Her hands shook as she added each ingredient. She knew he had to have noticed but he said not a word as he stirred the cauldron the required number of times.

She looked up at him through her lashes. His face was grim; his lips pursed tightly together as if he was afraid of what would come out of them.

He seemed to be furious.

Oh, what had she done? Had it been worth it? The sudden fear that their relationship was ruined overcame her.

She had been greedy, never satisfied. Her constant need for knowledge, for more, had driven her too far.

Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. Fear tugged at her. What if he sent her away….. No longer wanting her around? It fueled her anger at herself. She had done this. She had pushed them to this point.

She threw the next ingredient into the potion. Her thoughts were consumed with self loathing as she absently looked up at the man beside her. The expression on his face jolted her into awareness. He was angry, frustrated and hurt. At that moment the realization struck her; he thought she was angry at him. His look became hard as he looked away, ready to retreat behind the wall he had built around himself.

What had she done? Without thinking, she reached out and touched his hand, her fingers barely brushing against his palm. Her touch was light but it held him.

Neither moved as the moment stretched on. In that one touch, she conveyed her insecurities as well as her needs, wants, and desires. She didn't want the moment to end. It was like a balm on her frayed nerves. It was an anchor holding them in a sea of uncertain waters.

She looked up into his face. He was watching her and although she couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling, she suddenly knew with certainty that he was going to kiss her. As he stepped toward her, she responded by leaning into him. Her heightened senses were becoming overloaded. His fingers moved in hers. The movement was slight and sensual, causing her to catch her breath in anticipation. His uneven breathing matched hers. As they drew closer she was enveloped in his presence: the feel of him, the smell of him, and the sight of him. She kept her eyes open, not wanting to miss a moment.

She was close to him so close she could see the pores on his skin. She could feel him before they even touched. As his lips finally touched hers, she closed her eyes. She wanted to feel only this – the touch of his lips, his kiss.

The kiss was soft and gentle yet awkward. An uncertainty born of many things: unknown territory, a previous underused skill, and a nervous need to please. It was not an unpleasant sensation for they shared it. Their confidence grew and she felt a need building. A need to go further a desire to have more. A sensation so strong, she could feel it there, on the edge pushing her further. She sensed the same need in him, a want to go further. Even though, she held it at bay. This moment so fragile and sweet deserved its time and so she controlled her need to explore, to know all, to push everything to its limits. She just enjoyed the moment. The soft tender kiss that held the edge of promise. There would be a time later to explore, to know, to conquer.

The kiss ended like it had started, slowly, hesitantly as if unsure of what had happened or what to do next. She looked up at him this man who had turned her whole world around. He had made her feel, over the years, anger, fear, anticipation, joy, and many other emotions she couldn't explain. She didn't know what to expect. What would she see in his face? She felt vulnerable, raw. He had her heart and could do whatever he wanted with it. As she gazed up at him she realized the expression on his face and in his eyes were the same.

He smiled.


End file.
